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Saturday, 22 August 2009

Part One


Current mood: sad
Part One

A far complex atmosphere could be felt in that very class. Understanding this, everybody seemed to ignore what was happening. Occasionally, a chuckle or a giggle could be heard , but that was not the case today. Silence, was the main agenda for that day, and it was mesmerizing as on days like these one would usually wind up in this class filled with cheer and joy, but today, it was as if, the black parade itself wound up in the class. Everybody was down in their own world. I was not in exception.

How could she do it? I asked this question up to a point that even I lost its meaning. She was waiting for me, waiting for my presence to comfort her, but i obliged to do so, at least at this particular moment. She wanted to explain, I know. But somehow I couldn't go to her. After sulking in my own thoughts, I had to go, I had to listen to her explanation.

I stood up, and my sudden movements were obviously not one to be noticed by the entities in the class. It is odd really, when you are anxious to find out something, everything seems to move somewhat slower in terms of speed and you would often realise things you never did before, I didn't know this and that. But that wasn't the point, the point was, I was anxious, scared and even frustrated, I knew I couldn't control my emotions and it would leave an impact on my use of words. I got closer to her and she nodded at me. I then sat down beside her.

She looked upon my face and she took a tissue from her pockets. At first, I wondered why, but as I gazed at her hazel eyes, I realised something was terribly unfolding. Her eyes were wattery, but that would mean one thing, she was about to cry, and this was further making it hard for me to confer what i had in my mind, she wasn't the type to cry. Her emotions were so stiff, I can't believe this is happening. As she opened her mouth, tears started to wet her cheeks, and she said, " I'm really sorry for what happened, I wanted to help, honest, I didn't know it would have such an adverse effect, contradictory to what I had expected, and it all backfired upon you and her", and I didn't know why but I blurted out, "I think you know who I blamed", and she came back with, " I can't believe it Arif, we've been friends for three years. You've been by me since i transferred here from Labuan. I can't believe you would stick up for her, whilst I have told you, I did it unpurposely, I didn't know that this was going to happen. Arif, remember, you've never met her, you've never see her, you've known me for years, you only know her for a few months", I then remembered what occured the day before that faithful day. It was painful, not what she did, but the effects of her action. It led to the declining dignity of my girlfriend. It was as if her dignity was burnt to ashes. I was confused at that moment.

Out of the blue, she then continued saying this and as she said this, her voice was sounding more hoarse, and she seemed disappointed, "Okay Arif, this is it. You've been great help during the past few years, thank you". Then, she didn't want to indulge in a conversation with me anymore. I was saddened by this fact. As I lay on my bed in my dorm, I reminisce the memories we've shared through the years. But, I realise, I have set everything this way. It was all my fault. Now, I gaze upon the vast vertigo of opportunity, and I have to set what I want. I now know, this is an act of divinity, there is someting god wants me to know.

This is my story. Of what happened and its consequences
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