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Saturday, 22 August 2009

Part Two

Current mood: argumentative
Part 2

It is human isn't it? To love and lose love? The concept which surround millions of individuals around the world. It bonds and repels at the same exact moment. I was, also caught in this phenomenon. It started innocent enough. I was on myspace as usual. I often asked myself at those times, why was I partaking in this? This, as i would confer it as, communicating apparatus, this, so-called 'social networking'. I was the type of person who would be online, and, nobody bothers. Why should I even bother to bother myself to be online? If nobody even says anything to me? I was caught in my own dilemma which was aroused by my own pitiful understandings.

Then, she popped-up. I remembered it. 2nd of June, someone added me as a friend. Well, I approved obviously but I wondered to myself, who was she? I continued greeting her as usual, somethng i always do. She then told me she was from an SBP too and that she was also a debater. I wondered how would she have known who i was. Because she said, I sounded familiar. True enough, she recognised my fellow comrades at HKSBP. But, I was certain, as many things that would have connected us, it didn't matter, because, in the end, we were going to ignore each other anyway. I was so sure of it, I didn't care really, that's just myspace. Its a norm. But, something odd happened, we never stopped talking. In the slightest opportunity we could indulge in some commenting, as they would say, we would be. This was to me remarkable, as oftenly, I would not reply to such comments as I am not the type to comment on myspace. It was odd and it occured until the last day of the holidays, that night, she gave me her ym. Her reason before this was her ym was malfunctioning but, I wouldn't know.
Tomorrow, I was to go home. But, i don't know, she had a spell on me, I couldn't budge from the computer. I was having too much fun. I didn't know why. It's been awhile since anybody could make me feel this way. In the end, she gave me her number. That was how it all started.

As I was going to school, I only could remember her, I didn't know why. It was like, a divine intervention. How else could I feel this way? People fall in love after months maybe even years. But, I've known her not even a month. I felt something being with her. I said to myself, "It'll shake off", and I continued with a smile.

After awhile at school, I started to lay off my thoughts towards her. At that very moment, a message found its way into my phone. It was her. At that moment, all attention was on her. I don't know why. I was then, in a state of confusion with this girl.
As we got to know each other better. I knew one thing was true. I had to make her mine.

On the 19th of June, I popped the question. She said to me, "Arif, I'm shocked, I didn't expect this, I even feel as if I want to cry", and at that moment. I just knew, I lost it, what was i thinking? Suddenly, a new message unraveled in my phone, ""I need time to think about this, maybe tonight?". I then thought to myself. Im dead.

That night, she asked me, "Why of all the people? Why choose me?", that question needed no more thinking, I calmly answered, "You touched me with the purity and sincerity of your heart", and that night, we tied the knot, with the terms of us, being ourselves.

The rest of our relationship, went with a flow, It was very calm, I was happy, we were happy, it felt good, I was feeling it. I knew it for sure. This was real love. I made a promise to myself. Never to let go of her. This was contradictory to my past understandings which was, I would be with her as long as she would want me. In other words, if you say, you wanted a break-up. Fine. Okay. I don't care. But this time, NO! I'll be by her side, forever.

Part One

Current mood: sad
Part One

A far complex atmosphere could be felt in that very class. Understanding this, everybody seemed to ignore what was happening. Occasionally, a chuckle or a giggle could be heard , but that was not the case today. Silence, was the main agenda for that day, and it was mesmerizing as on days like these one would usually wind up in this class filled with cheer and joy, but today, it was as if, the black parade itself wound up in the class. Everybody was down in their own world. I was not in exception.

How could she do it? I asked this question up to a point that even I lost its meaning. She was waiting for me, waiting for my presence to comfort her, but i obliged to do so, at least at this particular moment. She wanted to explain, I know. But somehow I couldn't go to her. After sulking in my own thoughts, I had to go, I had to listen to her explanation.

I stood up, and my sudden movements were obviously not one to be noticed by the entities in the class. It is odd really, when you are anxious to find out something, everything seems to move somewhat slower in terms of speed and you would often realise things you never did before, I didn't know this and that. But that wasn't the point, the point was, I was anxious, scared and even frustrated, I knew I couldn't control my emotions and it would leave an impact on my use of words. I got closer to her and she nodded at me. I then sat down beside her.

She looked upon my face and she took a tissue from her pockets. At first, I wondered why, but as I gazed at her hazel eyes, I realised something was terribly unfolding. Her eyes were wattery, but that would mean one thing, she was about to cry, and this was further making it hard for me to confer what i had in my mind, she wasn't the type to cry. Her emotions were so stiff, I can't believe this is happening. As she opened her mouth, tears started to wet her cheeks, and she said, " I'm really sorry for what happened, I wanted to help, honest, I didn't know it would have such an adverse effect, contradictory to what I had expected, and it all backfired upon you and her", and I didn't know why but I blurted out, "I think you know who I blamed", and she came back with, " I can't believe it Arif, we've been friends for three years. You've been by me since i transferred here from Labuan. I can't believe you would stick up for her, whilst I have told you, I did it unpurposely, I didn't know that this was going to happen. Arif, remember, you've never met her, you've never see her, you've known me for years, you only know her for a few months", I then remembered what occured the day before that faithful day. It was painful, not what she did, but the effects of her action. It led to the declining dignity of my girlfriend. It was as if her dignity was burnt to ashes. I was confused at that moment.

Out of the blue, she then continued saying this and as she said this, her voice was sounding more hoarse, and she seemed disappointed, "Okay Arif, this is it. You've been great help during the past few years, thank you". Then, she didn't want to indulge in a conversation with me anymore. I was saddened by this fact. As I lay on my bed in my dorm, I reminisce the memories we've shared through the years. But, I realise, I have set everything this way. It was all my fault. Now, I gaze upon the vast vertigo of opportunity, and I have to set what I want. I now know, this is an act of divinity, there is someting god wants me to know.

This is my story. Of what happened and its consequences


Current mood: working
Category: Blogging


The tale which is to unravel before you is one which was experienced by me during the few months before my trial examinations. Such an experience. An unforgettable one I should add, and it is also one I would like to share.

Within a few days, a series of partial storytelling shall be conducted and I shall try my best to confer everything in a provingly simple manner due to skepticism occurring concerning the misconceptions which can arise whilst such superior language is used.

It is to my own partake that such usage of vocabulary is at my own command and I regret any misunderstandings which may pop out in the duration my social blog becomes viewable. The names might have been changed but the story is true.

I have changed some things to reduce the length of the story for the comfort of readers. Other than that, Please comment showing your concern over the occurrences.


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